Psalms 4:4

“In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent.

So easily at night our mind and hearts can wonder, I was going to blame Satan but honestly our minds wonder to things that are already in our hearts we just did a good job hiding it during the day. So easy for us to say Satan is attacking us (Which in some cases are true) but lets stop being so much holier then thou and be real. We were born into sin, we are fallen men, and we are not YET a pure spotless bride so lets call white, white and black, black!

Scripture tell us so Cleary what to do during those time. So easily do men and women worldly AND Christian get caught up in pornography in those hours. Women a lot of times will turn on ridiculous chick flicks and let the knight in shining armor in the movie romance us in to an unrealistic love. Women im going to tell you something that might sting a little.. NO man on earth will EVER fill the longings inside your heart. God is a Jealous God and would never create a man to fill or complete you...
If you are blessed to one day find a mate he is there to be the icing on your cake, I believe the reason we have such a high divorce rate in our generation is because when a woman is lonely she has no patience and she doesn’t understand that role of a man verses God. So she rushingly falls in love with a man and marrys thinking that will complete her, only to find out she still feels empty. Well hello!!! Wake up out of your fairy tale Cinderella movie... God put those feelings those longings inside of you but you are searching them out in the wrong places! It’s like the old song from “out of Eden” Your looking for love in all the wrong places...

Mike Bickle “Director of International House of Prayer in Kansas City” Wrote an amazing book everyone should read (especially women) its called “7 Longings of the human heart”

It explains how you do not need to feel ashamed or condemned with the longings of wanting acceptance we as humans have because the Alpha and Omega Him self put them in us, but since we are sinful man we have lost sight of the only one who can fill those longings!! This world is dark, you can pay for any kind of pleasure drugs, sex, child pornography, obesity in food (we call this comfort food) drinking, night clubs and partying, video games, movies. Even us as Christians have lost our gaze upon the only one to provide true satisfying pleasure to these things... But there is one BIG problem, these things only last for a moment and then we need more but in a greater measure. Because that’s how Satan created sin to be. You look at a prostitute or a heroin addict and say you will never be like that. Well you know what they once said the same thing but the “SIMPLE” sin they had stopped satisfying them so they got a little deeper and a little deeper until they are the ones they once claimed never to be..

God is looking for a generation to be “HOLY”
Leviticus 11:44 I am the Lord your God; consecrate yourselves and be holy, because I am holy.
WWOOOAAAHHH what does that even look like?? To be holy as Jesus Himself is Holy?? Well I can tell you what it doesn’t look like… US!!! We are so far from being what; Who God has designed us to be.

My conclusion:
Let’s stop making excuses about the sin in our life! If we are going to live for God why don’t we go all out?? Who cares if people call us religious?? Who cares if they say we are too radical?? You know what I tell them? “ You are completely right I am radically in love with Jesus!!” let US search our lives inside and out to see what we have that doesn’t look like the father, Justin Rizzo has a song that says “ your either sowing into the spirit or sowing into the flesh, you are doing one or the other all the time!”
Which are you doing??

Watching a beautiful God unfold more and more in my life.

          God has been taking me down a journey over the last month.  As most of you know I left my job at sunpass and stepped into full time ministiry.  I have no regrets, my faithful Lord has provided above and beyond anything I could imagen.  I got to go to a ministry a few weeks ago in Alabama called “The Ramp” it’s a young adult ministrie that focus’s on placing revival in the hearts of the people that go threw there. God really spoke to me while I was there,  I think I was expecting something crazy awesome to happen to me while I was there but to my surprise I had the hardest time pressing into worship.  I couldn’t understand why I would drive 16 hours to not even be able to press in.  Then on Saturday while everyone was going crazy in worship I knelt down on the ground and told God I was just going to wait on Him.. 

          After a few minutes He started showing to me things in my life (little foxes) that needed to be taken care of.  “You have asked to walk a road in Holiness not many have walked down” He said.  I have been telling God over the past month that im done living in this world waiting to get to eternity, Im going to live now as I will in eternity. Call me a radical if you want and you would be correct I am so radically in Love with God that I care less and less for the so called “Pleasures” of this world.  I have turned my gaze to something greater.  Now am I walking in perfect Holiness?? OF COURSE NOT. I am still human and I struggle every single day. In my actions, thoughts, my heart, my words.  But still I strive to be set apart from this world. I choose to turn my eyes from the entertainment of this world.

          So that’s really what God has been doing in my heart over the past month.  Its hard but I am in this relationship with God for the long road!!

Here is the group of on fire for God young adults I went to Alabama with.

PRAISE REPORTS:

          God has deffinetly been providing for Lillyana and me since we said yes to God in full time.  The day after I left my job my car broke down, within 6 days it was fixed and I didn’t have to put any money forth for it.

          I have a group of amazing prayer and financial partners who I am so thankful for.  The Lord is partnering His people for His purpose. 

          A cool thing happened. Somone came up to me and told me they had some food to give to me. It was so special to me because not only is God providing everything we need but Lillyana even got two boxes of her Favorite cookies. I was like God you even take care of our daughter with the little things she desires

        One last thing. We had a childrens conference at church a few  weeks ago.  The speaker challeneged the children to start praying 5 minutes a day.  Since the conference Lillyana has been praying on her own every day for 5 to 10 minutes. WOWOWOW for a 5 year old to be doing this is amazing and truly touching the heart of God.  I just found this one out yesterday,  at the conference there was a ladie who needed healing though she didn't tell anyone what it was for.  she had four adults around her praying and then Lillyana came up to her and touched her knee (Which is exactly where
her pain was) and as soon as Lillyana touched her and started praying all the pain went away....

          WHAT!?!?!?!? omgoodness did you hear that?? God used a 5 year old to bring healing to a women in need. Oh my the things He does is soo beautiful..

Prayer request we have:

More prayer and financial partners to stand with us.

For my family to be encounter’d even more by the Lord.

For Lillyana starting homeschool.

For patience for me in doing homeschool with Lillyana.

Praying what God desire’s to do about my car over the next 6 months, wether He will fix the issue’s its having or provide for a new one.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, "A New Season."

          So I really was worried of how to start a blog because I might do it wrong. Then God told me to just write my heart.
          I’m gonna start with the last two years.  I have been pleading to God to allow me to go full time into ministry, but never feeling the release from my job.  I have been up and down with God my whole life.  At the end of 2009 I heard God ask me if I was really ready to commit my life to Him. "Yes God I am" He told me ok for 2010 I want you to fast...  O.k. so I have never made it past 2 days doing a fast and you want me to do one for 365 days?? God I'm not strong enough for that, but I can try what would I fast??
         Seeing how at the time I was trying to find a way to go to cosmetology school for skin care and makeup He said "Fast makeup for a year."  WHAT?!?!?!?!  God I... AAAHH...BUT... sigh!!! O.k.
          I didn’t think I would make it the whole year, but He knew more then I did.  That year was the best year of my life.  I dug deep into the Song of Solomon. I always loved God because it was the right thing to do, because He loved me first….  But I never knew how much He loved me, the way He saw me and the way I was allowed to love Him in return...

         By Jan of 2011, I was burning even more for full time ministry... “God why will you not release me from my job to go full time at the Orlando House of Prayer?” I asked.  But it just wasn’t time.
          I continued to be faithful to the Lord and give all of myself to Him and hold nothing back...
          Finally, in May, He started speaking to me to let me know the desires of my Heart & His would soon come to past. He told me in August I would be going full time.  Well my flesh said ok I need to find a way to go full time but still provide as a single mother. Oh perfect I will just go to college because then I can do skin care and make up and get enough money from the government to be full time at (OHOP)  For some reason things weren’t working out with that.  
          God I don’t understand you said it was time but this isn’t working?  “Did you ask me if I wanted you to go to school?” I heard Him ask.  Well no but why wouldn’t you... “Ask Me He said.”
          Ok God you want me to go to school right?”  “No” He said.  Hmmm Ok so there goes al my plans (FYI He likes to do that to you to see your faith and commitment to him)
          God told me I was going full time in August and I was going to home school Lillyana (Which is a testimony in itself, we will touch that one another time.)  God I will step out you just make a way.  Lets fast forward to August 12^th, 2011 this was the last day at my job I had been at for 3 years. I started this past Monday as full time intercessor missionary at Ohop.  Praise GOD! He is so faithful. I am leaning on Him big time to provide the prayers and finances to provide for Lillyana and me.  I know He is always faithful and I put my complete trust in Him...
I will keep you updated often to share with all who reads how this chapter is being written out.

          If you feel the Lord pressing on your heart to become apart of this chapter with Lillyana, Jesus & Myself feel free to contact me thru email at Ashley.bellerose@orlandohop.org.
I am sooooo excited!! Jesus I love you, your faithfulness leads me perfectly and has rescued me.